Apologies- a first draft

Maybe I need to say something like this:

I know that you're upset with me, and I know at least one thing I did to make you feel that way.  I'm sorry that I made you feel like I was taking advantage of you.  I promise you that I never meant to use you or treat you unfairly and I acknowledge my part in that. I'm sorry. I also feel like there may have been previous things I did (that I don't know about yet, that I didn't realize offended you) that I need to apologize for. So, I'm sorry for them too. I don't want there to be anything between us. I'd like to start over and try again. What can I do to make this right?

PR

You can't PR every day. I know it.  It just feels like lately all my days have been worse than days before. My motivation to continue eating clean has been performance rather than weight loss.  Sure, weight loss was the initial motivator but I can't sustain a diet based on wanting to look good.  I get sick of the restrictions and decide that I look good enough to give up (never mind that going back to the old way of eating means going back to the old way of looking). But paleo stuck because I had to eat that way to make my way through my workouts. This is the way to eat if I want to be active and have fun and see results (strength and body composition).

Lately there have been no results.  At least that's how I feel. My sleep is jacked up. I have no energy to work out. When I make it to the WOD it just doesn't seem that exciting and I don't feel like I do that great. All in all my motivation to workout: through the tubes; and my motivation to eat right: in the crapper. It's a big and vicious cycle. My body hasn't started changing back yet but that's the next step... if I don't put an end to this.

I guess I've got a short term plan. I bought Primal Pacs and they are going to be what I eat when I really just want crap. Quick easy and clean food. It's a stop-gap until my body doesn't beg for the carbs I've been feeding it. I have to not cheat for 3 weeks (I may have to order more Primal Pacs).

Also, I think Walt & I are going to 'switch' boxes. He's using Faction to stretch (he's got the current membership) and I want to use their programming. Hopefully I can get the excitement back and start to see improvement again. It may be more disappointment at the beginning, however, if I really have regressed. I have to prepare myself for it.  Even if I'm not worse I am worse off... my lack of sleep has got to be a factor.

That leads me to my final point.  This one isn't so short term.  I guess I have to start looking for a day-shift/12 hour shift job. If they can't give it to me on 4E (12 hours... not days) I'll have to consider it. As much as I hate that, my health is worth it and I'm going to have to start thinking in that direction.